Carol Oh Carol…

If memories can last forever, then I think I can remember everything in my life forever. Time passes so fast. I have been in Canada for eight months. I miss my home. I miss all my friends in Malaysia. Honestly, I treasure friendships that I have built there more than here. There, we make friends honestly, no jealousy, when we are not happy with someone, we know how to show and tell that someone so that he/she will change better, when happy we know how to express so that everyone will be happy too. Everything is just so pure. We will not make things so complicated. What friends say no matter nice or hard to hear, it is still what a friend wants to tell you from the bottom of his/her heart. I understand this, and I really believe in this. However, it is sad that this theory does not work in everyone. Maybe ‘eight months’ does not seem enough for me to understand another person so well, especially in such a big gang. It is too complicated. We have got different hobbies, different taste, different styles, different personalities, everything is different. We have to suit ourselves to all these differences. I know it is hard, but I have tried my best. I have done what I want myself to do and I know, I have changed. I have changed a lot in these eight months. The previous me, you won’t get to see Carol can keep quiet for an hour. However, time changes me. I want to be alone. Alone does not mean lonely. I spend a lot of time with myself. Sometimes, I know I have to change my bad habit, and smile more. To me, it is fake that you force yourself to smile in front of everyone especially when you are not happy. This tells me that you are just acting and you are hard to be predicted, and it will give me a dangerous sign, so that I will stay away from you. Anyway, that is my opinion.

Anyway, I am proud of myself. At least, I have 2 friends whom I meet here, can talk comfortably with. One guy one girl, balance right? To me, it is enough. I do not need so many friends if they are those who care for quantity, but not quality. I prefer quality.

Till then….I update soon since I am having my holidays now. IT IS SO HOT HERE!!!! HELP….

Take care guys…..I still love my KEBORINGANZ the most!!!

Well, I’m back! Hehe…Guess what? Today is 1st of December 2005 ( I think everybody knows that -.-" ) Anyway, tomorrow I’m gonna finish my SPM! *sigh* At last, after 3 weeks I’ve been staying at home study, now I can relax a bit and throw all my books!! Now then I know I’ve bought a lot of books for SPM. At least 5 bags of books! My hands are gonna break if I just carry 2 bags. Can you imagine if I carry all of them together with my own hands? Er, well, I don’t think I’ll do that. Just imagine only. Oh man, I’m talking nonsence again. Somebody help me please…I think it’s time for me to take medicine…C ya guys…

The SPM just started. Today I just finished my IT papers. One more month then it’s time for me to fight against the war again! Have to buy bullets & get ready!! Oh man! Where can I find bullets in Sandakan?! Someone tell me please! (Haha…I’m insane!) Actually, is it what we call SPM as a war? Er…actually it’s not a war, each subject just a FEW papers for us to finish in 2 or 3 hours. Quite easy huh? =P (You’re kidding me…) Well, on that day, we just have to wear our schoool uniform, bring our pencil case, & of course, our SAINTIFIC CALCULATOR to go in to the class & sit for the exam. Oh ya, don’t forget to bring IC too, remember!!! That’s all we need to do on SPM day. Isn’t it easy? Haha…
Ok….Seriously, just don’t tense, stay cool. Just don’t panic. (Always say that to myself but actually I really don’t know if I can do it on that day.) I don’t care now. I have to prepare myself, show that I’m not afraid of SPM! Not at all!! Hehe…(Wow! Wow! Wow!So serious. =P But hey….I’m not kidding! Coz God’s spirit is in my heart & it’s burning!!!) =)

I…just wanna update my blog. Well, this holiday is the worst holiday for me I think. I don’t know how to enjoy it & make it nicer. Maybe…sick really can’t think well. Or….maybe something stuck in my brain that makes my head keep on spinning. I don’t know. Just…just hope that I can go through all these…

Well, don’t know why just wanna write something here…just wanna drop a few words here to express my feelings i think. Am i wrong to make that decision? Guess not, but everything seems to be worse these few days, don’t know why. Maybe it’s a challenge or maybe it’s just a practice for me to handle things like this. No matter what it is, I’ll still have to go through it, with the help of God, my family & my closest friends. Maybe it’s hard for me, but I think there’s nothing that I can’t do, unless I don’t wanna do it. And to a friend of mine, don’t be so down & stress ok? Just find me if there’s any problem, express it to me, you’ll feel better, just don’t keep it inside. Remember, nothing is impossible. To my dearest & special friend, time pass very fast, really fast, till I wanna stop it just at this moment. I don’t know what will happen next, but I’ll appreciate the time we’ve spent together.
Till then, to be continue…